Tecmo Bowl Villains
This is a collection of critically bad players in the game of Tecmo Bowl. What stands out is the fact that in some way, shape, or form they play a vital role in being a great hindrance to the production of their team. They are vehemently despised for their lack of even mediocre contribution to the Tecmo Bowl world.
Mike Wilson
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Don't be fooled, he's actually walking here...
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I bet he took his sweet time signing this autograph
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Ruben Rodriguez & Norm Johnson Seattle Seahawks kicking game
Gaze into the face of punter sucktitude
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Celebrate all you want, but I'm pretty damn sure the field goal wasn't from very far out.
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Most teams have 1 sucky aspect to their special teams...but this rare combo of ineptitude attached to a pair of legs really hangs Seattle out to dry. Johnson has the shortest range of all field goal kickers, & Rodriguez accommodates that with the worst punting distance as well.
Since Tecmo Bowl is a game of field position, this is a great dis-advantage for the Seahawks. Seattle has a middle of the pack offense & defense...they're only a suitable kicking game away from being considered a legit 2nd tier team.
Don Shula's run game
Miami Dolphins
I get it...there's only so much talent you can put together on the offensive side of the ball. When you shell out the big bucks for an elite quarterback like Dan Marino, you can only afford a 2nd rate running back. Meaning you get Lorenzo Hampton carrying the load. Problem being, Shula focused too much on the passing game, and forgot to tell his lineman about a couple key defenders they need to block when Hampton gets the ball. Both outside linebackers go unblocked and Hampton often has a long day....er short day. He's slow as hell, and gets no help from his coach. And when the New York Giants roll into town looking to kick someone's ass, poor Lorenzo Hampton...
Run blocking is for sissies
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Hampton stands no chance vs Lawrence and Carl
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Darrell Green
Washington Redskins kick returner
Green looking ready to do something good on defense...
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and Green with yet another stupid 20 yard kick return when he needed to take it across the 50 to set up the game winning field goal
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Darrell Green on defense is a pretty good player. Darrell Green returning kicks is unfortunately one of the least clutch players in the history of Nintendo sports games. Countless times Green has gotten the call, with Washington just needing a field goal to tie or win the game late.
Instead, Green comes up short & the Skins lose another close game where the defense plays crazy good, & the offense doesn't do anything to lose the game. Darrell Green, you're certainly no Dennis Gentry, but thanks for trying anyways you bum.
Dan Henning & Bob Schnelker
offensive coordinators
Redskins & Vikings
Not actual players, but these 2 guys are to blame for the damn wide receiver run plays in Tecmo Bowl. Even the guy who totally sucks at Tecmo Bowl knows these are worthless plays! The mid-80's trickery of Henning & Schnelker on the field led to some nerd programmer getting cute & creating these abominations of run plays.
Minnesota's WR run play is worthless....
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...& surprisingly so, Washington's also sucks
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Schnelker & Henning apparently have lifetime contracts, because the playbooks never change! Running back Darrin Nelson is forced to live forever in obscurity, & Timmy Smith turned to cocaine to soothe his sorrows. 2 of the best defenses in the game are made to suffer & toil as bottom feeder teams because their offensive counter-parts are good for only 3 stupid points a game. Dan, Bob, and geeky programmer guy...here's to you ruining a good thing. Hopefully you all get fired someday! Chances are likely when I retire from Tecmo Bowl, these guys will still be wearing the headsets.
This is the face of Pure evil! ...Meanwhile Bob has the look on his face like the WR run play didn't work so hot for the Vikings.
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More additions coming soon
To see the Tecmo Bowl heroes,
click on Mark Bavaro below
For the R.B.I. Baseball heroes, click images below
Insanely powerful #8 hitters...
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And horrible clean up hitters
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